#I do have a commission sheet‚ I wouldn't mind taking commissions for that kind of stuff

[danet-express]

For requests [idk if you take nsfw requests, if not ignore this ^^;] maybe shy/submissive bender?

Well I don't think I'd be able to do NSFW requests, but I can still draw a shy Bender :>

[afreakingdork]

Weak Spot Donnie Ref Sheet

Y'all genuinely have no idea how happy I am right now. With many, many years of work, the Weak Spot Donatello ref sheet is finally done and @garbagemilkshake is truly one of the greatest people to ever grace this planet. I say with full honesty that WS would not have near the same visual impact without their art. Now that this treasure is finally a reality, I'm holding nothing back. Below I breakdown all kinds of detail about what you see above and all I can say before that is thank you to each and every one of you who've been kind enough to read my work! This one goes out to you!

Villain's Mark Reference Sheets:

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. - Donatello - Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Raphael

PREFACE TIME!

Now it may seem like way overdue from the outsider perspective, but let me tell you, I have been trying near non-stop to get this damn thing done. Interest in getting WS Donnie's ref sheet made dates all the way back to around Chapter 9ish of Weak Spot, but very technically to April of 2023. An artist was commissioned to make it and all I will say on that matter is that they decided they could not continue. Thus began my new search. There was a ton of criteria: Someone willing to make a ref sheet of this size, someone willing to associate with NSFW content, and someone willing to do mechanical props.

Unfortunately, I would fruitlessly search until eventually I had Garbage on as a chapter artist. I eventually asked if Garbage was up to it (they totally were) and we decided to test out the other turtle's ref sheets first. It may not seem like it, but a ref sheet of this size is an ENORMOUS undertaking. I seriously cannot praise Garbage enough. As you all know, the other turts ref sheets were stunning. We planned out what was needed for Donnie's and starting May 2024, work began. Garbage would routinely take time off of doing chapter art or what need be (I'm too discombobulated to remember when their vacation was). Their happiness and life takes top priority in my book and after all the time I'd spent searching for someone just to do the ref sheet, I did not mind it getting sidelined in the slightest. Garbage was doing me a huge favor after all, commission or not!

BUT WHO CARES!! WE'RE HERE AND IT'S DONE!!! 🎉🎉🎉

Let's get into it with the turnaround!

The turnaround! Finally we have the definitive collection of Donnie's scars! it was tricky and we ended up needing to label him like some anatomical model to get all the mentions in. Some scars will look a little familiar to you and other's might not, but dang, I sure did a TON of scar research. From hypertrophic (raised scars) to atrophic (scar that don't have enough scar tissue to heal and are sunken in comparison) to how sharp blades versus dull ones cut skin raise what kind of scars. I have a bunch of gorey references for all that, but I doubt anyone wants to see that. Instead let's go into inspirations and the like:

First off, in spot 4, Donnie's electrical scars!

You probably think I ripped them off from Replica or Unknown and that wouldn't be totally wrong, but it wouldn't be right. Obviously I'm a huge fan of both artists (go support their patreons), but my thoughts were always more in the camp of getting Villain Donnie from A to B. I was planning alongside a canon timeline and my thoughts were he would have definitely created himself a pair of show goggles, but there was no way, with what he went through, that those would make it to adulthood. When I considered where he was mostly likely to lose them and that I wanted him to give himself laser eye surgery (again, show accurate, he had glasses once!) that I could knock both out if he were to have damaged the goggles, rendering him deaf and needing cochlear implants.

Now spot 2, the body augmentation, reaches outside the fandom and to Megalo Box of all things!

I only watched an episode or so, but the way Joe scrapped together gear was something that stuck with me. When I was conceptualizing WS Donnie and came to the conclusion he didn't have ninpo, I thought a lot about what he would do when the others got there. The logical conclusion was turning towards his tech and Megalo Box was right there with the idea.

Donnie's body augmentation gear has not been depicted as of yet, but it absolutely looks like something out of Megalo Box. I additionally did research into other wearable tech and came across the ExoArm.

Studying their information on what nerve points and muscles needed to be hit was what helped me ultimately decide where the extraction points on Donnie's arm would be. The starbursts on Donnie's arm are where the pins for the device were forceably torn out when they 'failed' him. The lines between them are where the wires that connected pin points were similarly torn out. They created finer scars.

I want to highlight the barely seen spot 7, Neural Implant, with an extreme close up:

It may seem like just the curvature of his noggin, but it's actually Donnie's one clean scar. It was his only surgery he was truly careful with as it chanced his brain stem and spine if he messed up. Without his ninpo, he implanted a chip to coordinate with his tech more seamlessly. It's inspired by the fic Switch by unorthodoxx, which shout-out! Again, if someone comes up with a neat concept, that stuff sticks with me!

Spot 6, Mystic Chains aka where Donnie got his foot ripped off and it might not be for the reason you think. I wanted to make mention here, that you might remember the chapter art from chapter 43 of Weak Spot and that Donnie did not have a port sticking out back then. That's growth kids because it took me until after to realize that he would need something inserted to connect to a working prosthetic.

Finally, it was tough to figure out how best to depict all of Donnie's shell damage. It's reveal is such a huge moment in Weak Spot and I knew he would have what was basically insurmountable damage to have made it a specific weak spot to him (if you know what I'm saying 😏) The number 8, spike holes are just that, Donnie hit some spikes. Think of him having been shut in like an iron maiden or maybe trapped by a spike wall that was reminiscent of the ones in the Maze of Death in the Minotaur Maze episode of canon.

As for spot 10, Shredder, we see this Donnie suffered for not having a bulkier battle shell. When he was attacked by shredder in this moment:

His shell took that damage directly.

The last spot I want to touch on is 9, the Odachi marks, the larger blob one is when Leo attempted to, but held back from severing Donnie's spine and the other is from Leo trimming Donnie's spines (aka from being a Spiny Softshell). I made this extremely helpful infographic to explain to Garbage at one point exactly what was trimmed off in the latter:

Moving on to outfit variants and expressions!

I hope this section is pretty self explanatory, but I did want to make a note: Donnie wears his wraps as seen in Lounge Looks around his arms and neck under all his clothing and at most hours due to his constant pain. Also, the examples of Donnie's emotions are something that only came around during Weak Spot. He hardly emoted before he met reader.

Last, But Not Least we got prop close-ups!

The prosthetic shown here is specifically Donnie's comfiest, aka the one he uses at home. I didn't bother adding any other prosthetics because his others are either shoe prosthetic (aka the shoe is fit so it directly attaches to is port) or a prosthetic that is made to perfectly replicate what his foot looks like (which visually looks like he just has his real foot). His prosthetic is actually a straight rip off of a real one!

When researching prosthetics, I found this one and it struck me as so similar to the turtle's actual feet (with the 'two toes' and heel) that I thought this had to be Donnie's prosthetic.

We get a good look at Donnie's glasses. As a reminder, the arms (temples) of Donnie's glasses attach to his head via magnets. He's got a little metal in his head from the electrical burns and cochlear implant so he made use of it when he made a facsimile of his goggles. The whole point of his glasses is they mimic the vision specs/knowledge he needs to access without them being a danger to his person. They are meant to be easily removable and they do not have lenses. The color projected in them is just that (a projection) and it only works if it's close enough to Donnie's neural implant and he wills them to be turned on.

Our final order of business is WS Donnie's battle shell! This is the first time it's ever been depicted! I always knew he was going to have a different sort of battle shell when I was created this version of Donnie. His show shell is just too bulky for what this Donnie could afford. Since he dabbled a lot of easily concealable tech, I took a lot of inspiration from Iron Man. The battle shell, as we know from Weak Spot, can grow and resize to its user. I specifically had this gif in mind whenever I thought about how the battle shell grows on one's back:

I did a ton of research into body armor itself, since that is what Donnie would specifically need it for and found this specific piece that I thought fell perfectly in line with both the Iron Man idea and utility of a realistic battle shell for this Donnie.

and that's just about everything! Again, thank you to anyone who made it this far. Thank you for reading my works! Thank you for literally everything! Round up thanks to my betas, to Garbage, to everyone dangit!

[thesilvertheorist]

• headcannons 2 (angst/fluff) •

REQUEST: anon asked -

"Okay but angst/fluff hc of five allowing himself to love/be loved after trying to brush his feelings under the rug and convincing himself he just wanted sex?"

!warning: themes of self-harm, self-hatred, mention of wounds!

A/N: i really want to add here that @kaybreezy3000 has some devastatingly good fics with these kinds of themes! if you like these hc's - you'd really enjoy their works. [be aware that they have both sfw and nsfw on their acc! mdni where you aren't supposed to <3]

Masterlist

okay so, this ask cut deep because this is literally so him...i actually need sectioning. this is on the cliff-edge of being a drabble but shh we don't pay attention to that.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

✦ five was very notably altered during his time in the commission, so much so that he isn't even able to distinguish the murder-rushed thoughts of some serial killer from who knows when from his own intrusive thoughts which his mind offers him as a cruel consolation for keeping him in this prolonged state of terror. this means that he struggles a lot with understanding his emotions when it comes to other people. he tries to put everything into a mental balance sheet, attempting to find some sort of logical conclusion to how he's feeling and what he needs to do for the better.

✦ five is not a cruel person, never has been. he can appreciate beautiful things and he can see when something holds significant emotional worth...he'll just never really say that. he's not this psychotic, unfeeling demon that many would have you believe [even himself to a point]. he cares incredibly deeply about everyone, constantly. the way he steers this is through putting his love into action, wanting to repay what he thinks is his debt to that person under the guise of some bigger mission like 'saving the world'. he's actually so deeply heartfelt, it just takes him a minute to figure out when it's appropriate to let his guard down along with how to do that...specifically. he's not used to feeling vulnerable emotions so this takes him a while. which is why he thinks sex is the only form of intimate connection he needs to regulate his body... and that it didn't need to mean anything...or at least that's what he was telling himself, he never felt fulfilled. he'd convince himself over time that he was undeserving of love, some shameful sex would be hurt just as much.

✦ once he'd allowed himself to know you, realise that you weren't going to hurt him physically, and then establish a connection with you (despite his better judgement) he tried to work on allowing himself to understand that he needs to open up to you more emotionally; there's only so many sarcastic, sexually intended jokes you can take before you eventually wonder if he's not into you the way you originally thought - which is a gross misjudgement, because he's never felt a stronger bond with anyone before. but he noticed he'd started to develop true sexual attraction for you (regardless of his efforts to ignore them and sweep these feelings under a very heavy rug and focus instead on meaningless sexual thoughts that wouldn't damage your bond). he didn't know what to think, but he purged himself for it. how fucking dare he? how dare he sexualise someone so tenderly loving and deserving of true love. perhaps he actually was who people said he was.

✦ when he really delves into what this means, five gets so messed up over the fact that he knows he's fucked up...and you're with him...so he's actively fucking you up and making your life a misery [obviously this is not the case, but this is how he thinks]. he can't separate the pure images of you from the one damning thought of you and him sexually...and all he thought about was that he'd be okay doing that with you. he gets sent downward-spiralling when he maps everything out in his head, seeing how much of him is yearning for love yet so scared to accept it, not even truly knowing what love is. he settles himself on the fact that he's literal scum for thinking of you like that, you deserve someone to love you - not some arsehole who can only think about sex.

❺ he has a huge panic attack about this one night when no one is around, feeling himself become hazy with self hatred and a deep inward loathing. he unfortunately gets so worked up about it, without you there to ground him or remind him who he is, that he takes to hurting himself just so he can come back to his body. he continues to hurt himself throughout the night, needing to bring himself back to earth somehow before he comes completely untethered and loses you forever, regardless of feeling wholly undeserving of you. he's so out of it that he doesn't notice you entering the room the next morning (or the fact that it is the next morning), coming to check on him as he hadn't called you back as he usually would. when his eyes manage to focus on you in the doorway he panics, eyes going wide with the panic of you seeing him like this, knowing that it'll only hurt you more...why the fuck did you have to care about him? it's killing him.

✦ he'd let you touch him, check his vitals, stop his bleeding...he didn't have the strength to object. he feels like he's burdening you with this; he should at least be able to hold it together and not go haywire at the thought of the two of you having sex from the one person he actually gave two flying fucks about

✦ as he lets you patch him up, taking your hand when you offered it, letting you clean and dress his wounds, letting you kiss his tears away. why the fuck was he like this? why could he not be normal for you? was he truly that incapable of feeling? what he didn't realise is that, as you're cleaning his wounds and kissing his salty face - he's accepting love. he's accepting you, openly - just as he always has... how is this happening? why? you're breaking his heart with your kindness for him. he'd just fall to pieces with you, spiting himself again at the agony of not being normal for you.

✦ your calming words, gentle caresses, and open heart make him want to die then and there; it doesn't get better for him than this - than you. he realises that this is how he feels loved...being cared for, being taken care of, being treated with true and honest kindness. this makes him want to crawl as close up to you as he can physically get, so he does.

✦ he actually has a lot of realisations in such a short space of time: that he likes the way that this comfort feels (even if it is alien and he feels undeserving), he wants you to feel the same from him, and he never wants to live without this. he gets so accustomed to your touch that he feels unearthed without it. he begins to basically orbit around you after the events of that episode. he starts to remain as close to you as possible, feeling comforted by knowing you're in the room - there for him as he is for you. he doesn't really know if he's deserving of love, but he knows you are - and he wants nothing more than for you to feel loved by him.

✦ there's never a spare moment where he doesn't appreciate you, so much so that he starts to replace every bad thought he has with ones of you, rewiring the hard drive that is his brain. you gave him permission to accept love, without saying a single word, knowing he couldn't allow himself. you know him so deeply that he'd give anything for you. he becomes selfish with the time the two of you share because its that damn precious.

✦ he's taken to making your coffee in a morning when he can manage to pry himself from the rewarding and unconditional warmth of your embrace... he even stirs affirmations into your mug...thinking only positively about his life (and you) when he makes things for you, knowing that you deserve to feel only love from him.

{{{✦he definitely loves being held by you, comforted by you. his favourite thing is when you're holding him close and you press kisses onto his lips gently, proceeding to pepper his face with the same love.[he thinks the most heartfelt thing you've ever done for him is kiss his ring finger before he married you...kissing straight to his heart as they say]. he feels secure in his silly appearance when you can show him devotion. [he also likes it when you play with his hair whilst he falls asleep].}}}

✦ he turns his need for activity into a need to fill your life with good things. he handmakes you gifts all the time: your coin purse has worn out? he's hand-sewn you a new one and added a cute charm that he picked out. lost your favourite necklace? he's hand-welded you a new one with his initials on the back. [he even installs a ring hook in by the bathroom sink for when you want to do your morning routine and don't want to get your wedding band dirty]. the two of you will take that step eventually, but as of these small moments in time - he feels fulfilled.

✦ five hargreeves appears in many forms - death, psychosis, fear...tenderness, warmth, devotion...love.

[redtallin]

Hello! If you don't mind me asking, do you have any idea when you'll next open commissions? And do you have a price sheet? I'm looking to hopefully commission art of my D&D character, and you're my fave artist. (I'm absolutely willing to join your patreon for commission priority, but because I'm a college student with no job atm, I wouldn't be able to join indefinitely, as much as I would love to. Someday!!) Thanks so much for answering! I hope you're having a good day. <3

Thank you so much for the kind message!! <3

My commissions are going to be opening very soon, likely in the next month or so (possibly a bit longer depending on how long it takes me to finish up my list!). My previous prices are on my patreon, but they will be going up a bit since cost of living has shot up even in the past year and a half, and things are getting a bit tough now! Patrons will have priority, but depending on how many want to nab commission spaces I may be able to open for non-patrons too!

Here's the link for prices and info:

[apompkwrites]

in your arms || aether, bennett, chongyun

masterlist characters: aether, bennett, chongyun genre: fluff summary: in which their s/o is in desperately need of cuddles. notes: ah i miss cuddles :(( if you can't tell from how i write cuddling, i'm big on physical affection like hugs and stuff. can't do that now tho :( also, hun is a petname i use like... all the time. idk man, i just really like it :D

aether -

i feel like this boy gives some of the best cuddles.

i like to think he's the "older" twin out of the two.

on the coldest nights of their adventures, him and lumine would cuddle up next to each other next to a fire to keep warm (platonically of course).

if you're in teyvat after he's lost his sister, he'd put everything into those cuddles.

he misses her so much and he hates the idea that one day, you'll be gone too.

although he held high statuses in both mondstadt and liyue, aether still preferred to camp outside the city limits.

something about the calm and quiet outdoors brought peace to the otherworldy traveler.

and you never really minded it.

as long as you were able to be next to him, you were content with any living condition.

luckily, it never really affected your nightly cuddles with the blond :)

one day you both split up to handle separate commissions, right?

one brought him all the way to mondstadt while yours required you to head to liyue.

this commission, however, was one you didn't particularly enjoy.

it wasn't because you couldn't handle, because of course you could.

in fact, it was purely because of the neverending stress building on top of you.

so once your commission was complete, you definitely were in need of some good ol' aether cuddles.

you waited for him by your usual spot, the aching feeling in your chest growing more unbearable as time went on.

until eventually--

"(name)! sorry, did you wait long?"

"we brought you some food to make up for it!"

the familiar voices of of your beloved traveler and his emergency food companion called out to you from down the path.

aether was running over to you with paimon in tow.

and you, desperately wanting to wrap your arms around him, ran over to him and met him halfway down the path.

before he could talk again, you had already jumped into him and were squeezing him as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

"wh-whoa! (name)?"

instinctively, he'd wrap his arms around you.

he wouldn't need to ask about how your commission was, he could already tell by how tight your grip was around him.

"c'mere."

he'd pat his hands on your legs, signalling for you to jump up into his arms.

and, of course, you do.

he still needs to set up your tent and all, but he doesn't want to let you go either...

next best plan? just build the tent with you in his arms.

it'd take him longer than it normally would since he was busy holding you, but he'd get it done.

paimon definitely wants to tease the two of you, but she'll save that for tomorrow when you're feeling better :)

once paimon disappears to wherever she goes, it's just you and aether in your tent beneath the moonlight.

you're both accustomed to the hard floor beneath your tent, but that never mattered.

all that mattered was that the two of you were together.

if you're still awake, he'll whisper some stories of how his day was and what happened during his commission.

i like to think his go-to position for cuddling would be the honeymoon hug?

i mean, like i said before, cuddling is something that reassures him that you won't be leaving anytime soon.

so something like that type of cuddling where your both holding each other is his absolute favorite.

but if you're in need of comfort, he'd be laying on his back with you on top of him, his arms wrapped around your waist and hugging you close to him.

he likes to talk to you, surprisingly.

i mean, we've seen how quiet this boy is.

but with you, he'll talk to you even after you've fallen asleep.

"i know today's been kind of rough on you, hun... i hope just being here with me, holding you close to me, is enough to help comfort you."

bennett -

bennett... has absolutely no experience in cuddling whatsoever.

you'd have to be the one to help him out.

he's always afraid something will go wrong due to his bad luck that he's tried his best to stay away from intimate things like that.

plus, he's also very energetic and jittery so cuddling isn't something that's crossed his mind to begin with.

you'd be the one to show him all of the different positions you could do, include those where you're just sitting next to each other.

he's definitely touchy since he's never experienced this before.

still kinda hesitant though because of his luck ://

he needs a lot of reassurance from you before he even thinks about fully cuddling in his sleep.

in fact, a lot of the time it'd be you who's cuddling him after a bad day.

i think his favorite position before fully allowing himself to cuddle would be ones with lingering touches.

like a simple arm slung over the shoulder and your legs crossing each others' in your sleep.

those small gestures.

but once he's used to cuddling...

he loves the idea of having you hold onto him while sleeping.

kinda like the sweetheart cradle with you being the one to hold him.

he just needs that reassurance that you're okay with him and his luck won't do anything to change that.

but sometimes you need to be cuddled too.

you're day has been rough, what with the countless things you needed to do that day (be it because of procrastination, schedule mishaps, etc.)

you'll head towards the adventurer's guild in search of bennett.

his dads all know you, of course, so whoever meets up with you takes him to wherever he is.

you wouldn't need to say a lot to bennett for him to know something's up.

probably just a small hum or murmur would be enough to clue him in.

you'd drape yourself over his back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and digging your nose into his neck.

he'd jump for a moment, thinking someone else knocked into him because of his luck.

but then he realizes you and he relaxes.

he'd bring his hands up to rub your arm, hearing your muffled whines as he does so.

his dads would already notice you're having a bad day, so they don't say anything that'll disturb you two.

honestly? bennett would probably want to cuddle with you right then and there.

he's not one to get embarrassed too quickly, so he wouldn't mind.

but his dads bring up a good point that you both should probably be resting in an appropriate bed instead of the floor or a bench.

so the two of you would head home as soon as you could!

bennett would talk your ear off about his adventures that day.

if you don't wanna talk, he can do enough for the both of you!

anyway, you'd both head home and jump into bed as soon as you can.

he'd instinctively go to your standard position but then he remembers that you're in need of some well deserved cuddles.

so instead, he'll be the one to hold you close.

he'd let you rest your head on his shoulder or chest.

you could trace the scars running up and down his arms.

he'd rub your back lightly while talking about his adventures again.

he'd tell you tales of the mare jivari he's heard.

and when you're off to sleep, the stress leaving your system, he'd continue to rub his hand along your back.

"how about tomorrow we go on an adventure? just me and you. we could do whatever we want to get your mind off of things..."

chongyun -

this poor boy doesn't cuddle a lot!!!

he's gotta stay cold, y'know?

as much as he'd love to just wrap his arms around you all night, he can't...

but he will try!

he'd definitely try to push himself near the beginning of the relationship.

i'm talking forcing himself to cuddle all night, no matter how hot it gets.

but, as the loving s/o you are, you tell him that it's okay he can't do the full body cuddles like other people.

but he still wants that touch, even if it's a little.

his cuddles are the ones where only a certain body part is touching the other.

like his arm is up against yours or your legs are touching.

those types.

he feels bad he can't do more though :((

he for sure owns those cooling blankets, even if it isn't for cuddling.

if you're under one of those, it's more likely for him to try and give you a hug as you both drift off.

he'd eventually separate from the hug if he's feeling too hot.

and as much as you're okay with those small cuddles with fleeting touches, there are times where you just need a good cuddle full of hugs.

he'd come home from another day of trying to exorcise evil spirits, wanting to simply fall into bed where he knows it's nice and cool.

he'd greet you once he walks into your bedroom but he'd notice...

you're wrapped up in your blanket and hugging your pillow tight, acknowledging his entrance with a simple nod.

he doesn't know what's causing you to feel upset or stressed, but that doesn't really matter anyway.

he'd hop into bed right next to you, slowly unwrapping your body from the blanket.

you're still clutching onto your pillow once the blanket is gone.

he'd have to turn you over for him to even be able to look at you.

you're resting your cheek on top of your pillow while looking up at him with tired eyes.

he'll cup your cheek with his hand, smiling softly when you nuzzle into his cold palm.

he would stay on top of the sheets while you're lower body is tucked underneath it.

he'll rub his thumb along your skin, watching as your eyelids flutter every now and then.

"have you been awake long?"

you shake your head.

"i see... come here."

he'd open up his arms, a gesture you hadn't seen for a long time.

this one, however, was different.

he didn't have a forced smile on his face and his arms weren't tense like before.

this time, he had that soft smile you'd always see when you two are enjoying popsicles together and his arms were relaxed.

you'd scooch over the bed, tossing your pillow behind you as you nuzzle into his chest.

he'd let out a quiet chuckle before pressing a quick kiss to your forehead.

"i'm sorry i don't do this often."

"...it's okay. i like our cuddles no matter what."

"but you deserve this every once and a while."

you'd just hum in response, smiling at the feeling of his thumb rubbing your skin.

he won't talk as much as the other two, opting to keep the calm silence in your room.

you could hear his quiet breaths and his heart beating in his chest.

and you fall asleep to it, the feeling of his arms around your body permanently marked on your skin.

"i normally... get too hot when we cuddle like this. but now... it's feels really nice."

[xbellaxcarolinax]

Forging A Heart (Ivar the Boneless) 8- Discovery

Pairings: Ivar x Artemis (OFC)

Word Count: 2780

Warnings: None!

7- Obedience

...

Artemis had learned that although snow is beautiful, it can turn into deadly sheets of ice when the temperature dropped low enough. She came to realize that the hard way, slipping along the streets of the city when completing her tasks. She had even fallen once, the sharp jagged edges of the ice cutting a gash above her brow.

It was superficial, but it had bled, much to her annoyance. When she had returned to the cabin with blood leaking down to her chin, Ivar didn't hesitate in laughing, mocking her for being weak. How could one who was born among hot plains become accustomed to an icy hell?

Winter appropriate boots were issued, a tiny delight in an otherwise tasteless life. They were surprisingly of high quality, the interior made of rabbit fur that kept her feet especially warm. Accroding to Ivar, it was no act of kindness. He would just tire of seeing his slave bruised up and bloody from her clumsiness.

More days passed, but the winter seemed endless. Artemis grew accustomed to her new life, though she was still struggling to accept it. In the early days she'd often cry herself to sleep, feeling an overwhelming loneliness suffocate her. Now, her emotions were blurred, and she began to view the world with apathetic eyes.

Sometimes, when she stared off past Kattegat's harbor, she'd imagine herself drifting away on a tiny boat. Her ancestors were masters of the sea, why wouldn't she be able to find her way back home? But it was just a fleeting thought.

She pushed herself to assimilate as Helga had often suggested, acquaintancing herself with other thralls and finding herself with Aria for company. The Irish girl was quite the character and would be considered a woman of loose morals in Christian lands. But she was kind, and had the skills of a homemaker, teaching Artemis mending techniques whenever she had the chance.

So far, life in Kattegat was extremely bland, cold, and uneventful.

The welts on her back healed quickly, scarring minimally with the help of the healer's salve. She supposed she had Ivar to thank for that, though she'd hate to admit it.

Whenever she thought of Ivar, she'd compared him to winter itself. His demenor was frigid, just like icy winds the seeped through the cabin at night. She had no idea what to think of him anymore. Sometimes she feared him, as most did, and other times she felt bad for him, watching him disappear into the mountains to grieve his losses.

Sometimes, she followed him, only to hear his gut wrenching sobs. In normal circumstances, she would've sympathized, but he was far too complex to simply understand his behavior. There were many instances in which he decides to ignore her, while on others he couldn't stop running his mouth, glancing at her with the curious eyes of a child, as if trying to work a puzzle.

That particular night had his curious eyes locked elsewhere, on something of extreme value. Artemis watched Ivar analyze a golden chalice, his ocean eyes admiring the craftsmanship and details of its design.

"What have I done to offend you this time, hmm? If your eyes could, they would kill me," She hadn't realized she was glaring as it was second nature to her now. She was always glaring.

Looking away from his eyes shining in the candle light, she continues to mend his breeches that had laid forgotten on her lap. Ivar was constantly destroying his clothing from dragging his body everywhere, and now she was constantly mending them, a tedious task that she hated.

Ivar sat slumped over his desk, his ale untouched to the side of him. He turned to eye Artemis, who sat by the fireplace, her mending forgotten again. Her skin glowed with the shadows of the fire and her pale eyes shone brighter than anything he'd seen before. The contrast was striking and Ivar couldn't bring himself to look away.

"That cup...it was stolen from the monestary in Crete, " Artemis finally answers quietly, turning to look at the shadows dance across his chiselled face.

"And what does it matter?" Was the boyish reply, "What is so important about this cup that your eyes wish me ill?"

She watches the fire for a moment, the embers hissing as they burn and crackle loudly against the quietness of Ivar's chambers. She wondered if Bjorn had gifted him the chalice. It was to no surprise to her that Ivar had in his possession the very chalice that was to be blessed for holy communion. Was Ivar feared so, that he recieved gifts to keep his anger at bay?

"Skilled hands made that chalice,"

"And what of it?" Not understanding, he sucks his teeth in annoyance. She wasn't a seer to be speaking in riddles. He focused his eyes on her as she laid his breeches on the fur rug, meticulous in sticking the bone needle into the thick fabric.

"I made it, Prince." She replies with equal force, holding out her calloused hands as if to prove her worth.

Ivar looks at her small hands, noting the lack of smooth skin, but it could have been due to her labors since arriving to Kattegat, and so he simply sucked his teeth unimpressed, waving his hand in the air aimlessly to dismiss her statement.

"You jest," He says, fingers gliding over the small pearls embedded perfectly into the gold, "This is fine work. Not even my people have learned to craft such delicate ornaments," Vikings made weapons of destruction, not dainty items to be viewed like a beautiful woman on display. Kattegat had only seen items such as the chalice when his father returned from his first raid in Lindensfarne. Whatever fine items they had, such as jewelry, were mostly traded or stolen from the Baltic lands.

Artemis frowns at his comment.

"My father and I were employed by the abbot. He had commissioned the gold chalice in your hands, as well as all the other gold and silver that was stolen from the monastery,"

"You lie."

"I do not." Ivar's huffs, glancing at the gold again as if he was just seeing it again for the first time. It was impressive work, even he had to admit.

"You can forge silver and gold?"

"I am the daughter of a blacksmith, I can forge any metal I please," The pride could easily be detected in her tone.

"Hmm." There was silence after that.

Artemis turns back to the mending, picking up the bone needle and staring intently at the tears the were left to mend. She couldn't focus on it, pulling the thread around as if she were actually completing the task.

"And that is why you were in the monestary," Ivar breaks the silence again, "To deliver the items." Turning the gold chalice this way and that, he put it to his smiling lips as if testing it. She grunts in reply, moving to work with the tough fabric.

"I suppose you aren't the whore we thought you to be," Ivar smirks, eyes peering at his slave who sat quietly by the hearth. He was half expecting a reaction from her, but instead she remained quiet, closing her eyes tightly and inhaling deeply. She refused to say a word. She wouldn't.

"I'm quite surprised you were allowed such an upbringing," He continues to taunt, "If women aren't allowed to fight, then how could you have learned the trade of men?" She remains quiet still, trying to ignore him as she poked the bone needle into the fabric with difficulty. She would need a lot more practice.

"You may speak freely, Artemis." To this she turns her head, shocked at her name name spilling from his lips so easily. She takes a moment to gather her thoughts before answering.

"I studied alongside my brother. He was to be the true heir, until he passed from plague," Artemis kept her eyes on the threading of the garment, distracting herself from Ivar's gaze, but it didn't help, "Someone had to help with the family business, even if it was a daughter." The memories of her father flashed in her mind, causing those melancholic feelings to resurface.

The man lost a wife, a son, and now a daughter. What did he have left?

Her hands begin to shake, causing her to prick a finger. She hisses, nursing her finger quickly before glancing at Ivar.

Why was he frowning?

"No mother?" He asks.

"She died when I was a girl of the side sickness,"

Ivar remains quiet, only looking at her with eyes that were less menacing and more...sympathetic. It must have been a trick of the fire. The fire makes people see what they want to see, and she had always wished for his gaze to be kinder. It was just a trick.

"I did wonder why you cannot complete the tasks a woman should," He breaks the awkward silence with a snort, "You were raised by men." He then tosses the golden cup towards her.

She catches it easily, watching the metal gleam beautifully with the colors of the roaring fire. Her reflection on it's golden surface revealed her frowning face. Ivar was right, for once. She was not the best cook or seamstress, as those tasks were expected from a woman to complete with efficiency. But her mother had passed when she was young, and Artemis didn't have the guidance that a young girl should from a mother, and there was only so much a father could provide.

"That is true," She begins, "But I can forge metals better than anyone," Well, she couldn't possibly be the best. She was still young, and with age came experience, but she was extremely skillful, and had learned so much already. She casts one last look at the chalice, thinking she'd never see it again.

Ivar eyes twinkled with mirth as a smile stretched across his pale face.

"Oh? Shall I put you to the challenge?" He was grinning now, like a mad man. Artemis ran the pad of her thumb over the rim of the chalice, her chalice, while looking at Ivar from under her lashes.

"What did you have in mind, Prince Ivar?" Ivar didn't hesitate in his answer, leaning forward in his chair as he focused all his attention on his slave.

"I am in need of a new axe, one to aid me in England. Have you ever forged one?"

The axe was the first large piece she had learned to make as it was the weapon of choice for the Emperor's soliders. Artemis hides a snicker behind her fingers, quickly gaining composure at the sudden annoyed knitting of Ivars brows.

"Of course, in the Greek fashion," Ivar hummed in approval, placing his hand under his chin in thought before replying.

"It's settled, report to me in the morning, we shall be paying the blacksmith a visit."

...

Artemis tightened her cloak around her body, hoping to shield herself from the morning chill. It seemed that the early morning and late night winds were always the harshest.

She has passed by Kattegat's blacksmith plenty of times since her duties had doubled, and she would often take a minute or two to peer inside the forge, reminiscing in the sights and sounds that tried to bring her back home. It didnt work, but she relished it, even if for a fleeting moment. But it was different arriving there with Prince Ivar, who dragged his body with gloved leather hands over the snow with determination in his eyes.

"Young Ivar, and company, what can I do for you?"

Artemis had seen this particular blacksmith before, sometimes with an older man. He was a handsome fellow, with long dark hair tied back messily, and with the typical blue eyes of the northerners. He was of strong build, broad shoulders that seemed endless and a height that made him tower over the both of them.

"Arvid," Greeted Ivar, heaving himself up onto a stool by the sharpening stone wheel, "Your father?"

"Out on business with Floki. The boats need stronger nails to support the wood," Arvid quickly answers the crippled prince, "What can I do for the prince of Kattegat?"

"My slave here is from foreign lands. She claims to be a blacksmith. I would like to put her to the test, if you can provide us with the materials needed," Ivar removes the leather from his hands, digging into the folds of his breeches to reveal a golden coin. He tosses it at Arvid who catches it in one hand with ease.

"From Ragnar's hoard?" The blacksmith asks, turning the coin over in between his fingers. It was a foreign coin for sure, but it was still gold.

"It is of no importance'" Ivar growls "Now get us what we need, she will be working on an axe," Arvid nodded, tucking the coin away in a purse before going to the back of the shop to retrieve the items.

Artemis takes in her surroundings quite vividly, as if it would be the last time she would see such a place. Not many candles were lit as the natural daylight illuminated the area just enough to work. The hearth was a familiar sight, and she absentmindedly stepped closer to it, her body shivering as it adjusted from cold to warm. It was all familiar yet so different. Everything was the same and yet nothing made it feel like home.

"Slave!" Avrid called out, "Come and help with the material."

"Her name is Artemis," Ivar shouted back with an grimace as he motioned for Artemis to remove his furs from his shoulders before taking his axe and placing it on the sharpening stone. "Go help the fool," He whispers to her. She bowed her head towards Ivar in respect before making her way towards the blacksmith, who bore the largest of smiles.

"My apologies, Artemis," Arvid had a charming smile, and she was happy to see he had all his teeth intact, "I know you," He says quietly, "You always peer in the shop. I was beginning to think it was to admire me," Arvid belted out a laugh when he saw the pink rise in her cheeks.

"I just wanted to observe your technique. It is different from what I've learned,"

"Right, well, if you say you are a smithy, then I assume you know what these items are," He had laid out on the long table familiar items to her that she had used alongside her father and brother.

"Yes." She says, running her hands over the different tools, before turning to look back at Ivar. He was sharpening his axes but his eyes were glued to the pair, the blue unmoving.

"This would take some time." Artemis says. It would take a few days, a week at most.

"Obviously," Ivar snorts, "We have time, it is not yet spring," Ivar removes the axe from the sharpening stone, testing the edge with his thumb. "We have time, but do not waste it."

"And what of my duties to you and Edda?" She wouldn't make much progress if she were expected to complete her daily duties on top of being in the forgery, it wouldn't work.

"Don't worry about the old hag, she has enough thralls to help her. But you will complete your duties to me come the morning and evening," Ivar said pointedly.

"You may begin."

Artemis flexed her fingers, removing her cloak to which Arvid took and placed away. The blacksmith then placed a small block of steel on the anvil closest to Ivar, handing her a hammer. The fires of the forge seemed to roar as Ivar's and Arvid's expectant eyes watched her for her next move.

It felt like an eternity since she had been able to touch any metals, and her hands missed the transformation of rough surfaces into smooth finishes. She placed a pair of gloves on that lay beside her with no hesitation, grabbing at the long metal tongs to grip the steel. The fire licked at the metal, turning it from its usual dark color, to a beautiful combination of bright red and orange.

Heat started to build up, and sweat began to form on Artemis' brow quickly, her curls already laying damp against her forehead. Pulling the bright yellow metal from the fire, she placed it on the anvil and took a deep breath. Gripping the hammer tightly in her hand, she raises her arm high, bringing it back down with a vicious pound.

And then she smiled.

Now it felt like home.

...

 @didiintheblog @heavenly1927

[80siconic]

AXEL SWEDES X OC!VANESSA LEBEDEV

chapter two

words: 1453

The last few days at the Commission for Vanessa was very, very stressful. The triplets made her work day and night. At least she finally knew how to shoot a gun. Vanessa had a few good nights of sleep, although most of them were interrupted by Oscar splashing a cold bucket of ice water on her. Let's just say Vanessa wanted to strangle him with a lamp cord. She thought about it, she really did but decided against it. It wouldn't be a good idea especially because he and his brothers were trained assassins.

Vanessa groaned loudly as Otto dragged her by the arm to the training room. She was already late enough as it was. At least he had the courtesy to wake her up from sleeping too long. Vanessa was relived it wasn't Oscar, she had just about enough of getting water on herself and the bed. Plus, she had to clean the sheets herself. It was a pain in the ass.

The Commission was able to give her her own room to stay in as they did for most of the assassins working for them if they didn't have a place close by. Vanessa's place was at least two hours away and there was no way she was going back. Otto opened the door to the training room, closing it behind him. "Stay." Otto gave her a curt nod and walked away.

Vanessa stood with her arms crossed for a few minutes. The door on the other side opened with Axel leading his two brothers. He pointed a finger at a large metal container across the room. Vanessa looked at him like he was crazy. "You—you want me to lift that? You know I can lift it. What? Do you doubt me?"

Oscar and Otto looked at each other with small smirks on their faces. Vanessa was utterly confused at the gestures but decided not to question anything. By now, she knew not to question anything. Axel shook his head. "I want you to throw it at me."

Widening her eyes, Vanessa rapidly shook her head. "No! No. I'm not throwing that at you unless you wanna die. You can kill me if you want to but I won't hurt you by throwing that."

Axel reached his hands out in front of him to calm her down. He walked closer to Vanessa and slowly took her hands in his. "It's okay. It'll be fine."

With a small sigh, Vanessa narrowed her eyes at him before nodding. Vanessa slipped her hands out of Axel's and walked closely to the barrel. The brothers backed up a little bit as Axel stood lightly in front of the barrel. Vanessa gave Axel one last look before nodding to herself. She could do this.

Vanessa focused her mind, reaching her arms out. The metal barrel floated into the air with ease. Vanessa was powerful as Oscar and Otto saw. Axel stood there without any fear on his face. Vanessa stretched out her arms and the barrel flew over at Axel quickly.

Axel dodged the barrel, rolling onto the floor. The barrel hit the wall creating a dent in it. Axel jumped up. "Again."

"Are you crazy?" Vanessa shook her head but lifted up the barrel again, listening to Axel's command. She threw the barrel in his direction again but he did a back flip, dodging it again. Vanessa let out an exasperated sigh. "Axel! What are you trying to teach me here?"

"You need to be quicker. Don't take 5 minutes to lift the barrel. Quickly lift it up and throw it. Don't take your time. Again." Axel fixed the suit jacket he was wearing, giving Vanessa a pointed look.

Vanessa rolled her eyes at him. This took almost an hour. Axel kept shouting at her to be quicker. Like she didn't know already. At some point, the anger and stress got to her. Almost everything in the room levitated as her anger could be felt in the three brothers. The items charged at Axel, his eyes widened. The Swede tried to dodge them all but a few things hit him, slamming him into the wall.

Vanessa realized at the last second that Axel was on the floor. As she realized, everything dropped on the ground. She noticed how banged up he looked and ran over to him. "Axel!" Vanessa bent down, Oscar and Otto ran towards her, bending down beside her. "Axel." She put her hand on his face. "Axel. Are you okay? I'm so, so sorry."

Oscar took Axel's arms, lightly lifting him up to sit against the wall. His head lolled to the side, he looked quite weak but that was obvious. Axel's eyes opened slightly. "I pushed you too hard. My fault."

Vanessa gulped, she kneeled beside him. Her powers were strong when she got angry. Maybe that's why she was scared during the whole training session. Whatever it was. Axel was right though, her reflexes were slow. "It's fine. I just wanna know if you're okay."

Axel gave her a reassuring smile and a nod. "I am okay. Promise." Axel reached his hand out and took hers. Vanessa smiled lightly at his kindness, he didn't seem like the scary assassin everyone saw him as right now. He looked and was vulnerable at this moment. "Control your anger. Work on breathing."

"Yeah. Just—just get your strength back." As Vanessa started to get up, Axel grabbed her wrist. Vanessa looked down at him. "What?"

Axel smirked at Vanessa before letting her go. "You did good today."

Vanessa nodded, standing up. Her eyes moved down to Oscar and Otto as they were beside their brother making sure he was alright. Otto lifted his head, he nodded telling her everything was okay. Vanessa sighed and turned around to leave the room. Her knuckles tightened, her nails dug hard into her palm almost drawing blood. Tears formed in her eyes as she walked fast trying to dodge as many people as she could.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Vanessa spent most of the day in her room, sulking. Seeing Axel hurt like that hurt her. She didn't seem him all day which either meant two things. He was mad at her or he was in the hospital. Maybe she was being dramatic. Vanessa sat on the chair in the corner of her room, knees tucked up into her chin looking out the window. A faint knock was heard outside her door. "Come in."

Vanessa was still looking out the window and didn't realize Axel walked into the room. "Oscar, if it's you, please leave. I don't wanna deal with you." Her voice was snappish as it came out in Swedish.

"Not Oscar. Axel." Axel closed the door behind him, standing there with his hands in his pockets.

Vanessa quickly wiped the stray tears off of her cheeks. A smile was plastered on her face, although it was face. Vanessa turned her head to look at Axel. "Oh, s—sorry. I wasn't sure." Her eyes widened as she could see a bruise on his cheek, tears formed in her eyes again.

Axel look at Vanessa with worry, he rushed over to bend down in front her. Vanessa quickly looked down, not looking Axel in the eyes. "What's wrong?" As Vanessa didn't look at him, he put his fingers underneath her chin, lifting up her head. "Please."

With a sigh, Vanessa looked Axel in the eyes. "I'm—I'm a monster. Did you see what happened earlier today? I got angry and I hurt you! I'm a monster." Vanessa looked down at her shaky hands. "I didn't mean to...."

Axel almost hesitated but he didn't. Axel took her hands in his. Whenever he did that it seemed that Vanessa calmed down. His touch was comforting. Very comforting. "You're not a monster. I only have a few bruises."

"Still." Vanessa shook her head. "I'm horrible." Vanessa's Russian accent came out thick. It normally did that when she was sad. "I'm sorry."

Axel tightened his grip on her hands. Not too much that it hurt her though. "Do not be sorry. If anything I should be sorry for pushing you. Vanessa, I'm sorry."

Vanessa bit the side of her cheek, nodding. A few tears ran down her face but Axel wiped them away. Without even thinking, Vanessa gave Axel a hug. At first she didn't thing he'd hug her back but surprisingly, he did. Vanessa slid from the chair and onto the floor with Axel, still hugging him. She could smell his cologne and his aftershave. Vanessa's arms tightened around him. "It's okay." Vanessa replied back in Swedish which made Axel smile. Vanessa didn't see it but it was there and it appeared.